Stay together for the kids...

When I was growing up, I felt that everything in my world was absolutely perfect. I guess that's what you think as a child. Things just go your way... always. I grew up in the rougher parts of Los Angeles and my parents did their best to keep me sheltered from everything going on around me. I was never allowed to go past my driveway alone. I didn't play any hide and seek games until sundown with any neighborhood kids. That's just not how things went. As an only child, having no friends, my childhood was very far from typical. At that time, it just wasn't the kind of place where you really wanted to raise a family.

The three of us moved to the South Bay and I guess it was cool. I didn't really think much of it. But things were still going really well. Or something? I don't know man, I don't remember much of my childhood to tell you the truth. I've been sitting here in front of this computer screen trying to tell you all about something that I know nothing of. I guess I was pretty happy... for a while? But honestly, I have a hard time remembering a whole lot about my younger years. What does that say about my childhood? Hmm...

My parents divorced when I was 15. They both have their sides of the story and I don't really know who's telling the truth, but that's beside the point. They split, and I never cried about it or anything. I wasn't sad. I just continued to live like nothing happened. I, like everyone else, thought that I would react how the kids in those Sunday afternoon Lifetime movies react. But I didn't. I just kind of blocked it out. Now, looking back on it, I had such a typical textbook reaction: did a bunch of drugs and other stupid shit. But I'm not the one who gets paid to put two and two together. There were other people around that time to do that for me. And feed me a bunch of pills. This is really fucked up...

I played my first show a couple of weeks ago. And there was a point during my set, when I looked out at the faces in front of me and they were all looking up at me, enjoying what was coming from my fingers and my mouth. All of the tears and bullshit and heartbreak and good times that went into writing those songs were poured out for everyone else to experience. And that's when I decided that I will actively pursue a music career. I've always been uncomfortable standing up in front of any crowd for any reason, and for the first time ever, I felt more alive, more in tune with myself than I ever had before. I want to do this for the rest of my life. And if I can make a living doing something that brings me so much joy and brings others along with me, why not go for it? And I see this as an opportunity to get my music out there. What better platform than The Real World? This could totally be a jumping point. It all has to start somewhere right? I'm actually surprised that more people aren't jumping at this. I would have kicked myself in the ass every day if I didn't try. So here I am, trying.

I thought getting votes would be easy, but It's definitely a lot harder than I thought. There really aren't a whole lot of people voting because they want to see me on the show. They're voting because they want one in return... which is cool. It's alright. I understand. Again, I'm not giving up. But I guess we'll all find out in a few days. Good luck guys.

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